I stumbled across this (very real) postscript from an email a close friend sent me a couple years ago. I laughed so hard as I re-read it. Maybe you can enjoy it too. Semicolons, commas, and parentheses are in their original locations.
PS. Someday when you are a mother, and when your child swallows glass, (because that's what 2 year old kids do when they are faced with either throwing away their blueberry banana smoothie, or eating it after the rim of the cup shatters); so anyway, just stop and pause and remember this, that even though every mother and grandmother you ever know told you that you would have to have abdominal surgery or you would die if you swallowed glass, that there is yet hope. I know this because I asked the ER doctor and the rule of thumb is "Let it pass, my friend, let it pass." Also, if you must go to the ER after you child as swallowed glass, do not be afraid to refuse the x-ray because "Sometimes you can't see the glass, anyway." Also, one last tip. If you must go to the ER, always try to aim for 4:00 am to 6:00 am because that is when they are the least busy and can take care of worried mothers whose children have swallowed glass. I know that out of all the people in the world, you are the mostly likely to remember this seemingly trivial information to save for future use!!!
Yep, A. You're right. I saved it for future use. You just didn't know what use that was going to be. :)